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McDonald’s is a travellers ‘safety food’, no matter where you go in the world you’ll always see a ‘Maccas’, and when you’re clutching at your stomach in hunger you’ll forever find comfort in reading a menu you can recognize, well, mostly. Whether it’s two in the afternoon and you’re finding your connecting flight or two in the morning and you’re finding your way home after a night out in Tokyo, “cheeseburger” is universally understood. This quick-read article will offer an insight into McDonald’s in both China and in Japan and highlight the key differences, so, whether you’re heading to either destination or simply want to learn something very odd, read below with, ‘China’s McDonald’s VS Japan’s Mcdonald’s’.
McDonald’s in China.
“ extremely obese, mobility-scooter-owners-arse ”
Ronald and gang first opened in China in the 90’s where the largest ever McDonald’s was established, consisting of over 700 seats, today, the brand in China has a newly registered business name, ‘Golden Arches’. So, does this new name bring with it a sense of luxury? Not so much. The name change itself is met with mockery within China as it comes across as, ‘peasant-like’ and ‘lowbrow’ when translated into Chinese, this, unfortunately, does match the interior.
Establishment. When entering the fast food establishment in China today, you will notice that the vast majority of seats will be occupied, but strangely, not by customers. Commonly, many Chinese people go there to use the free Wi-Fi (somewhat excusable), and some go there to sleep (not excusable). As you scan the restaurant for a table, you will see a meadow of black hair resting on tables, as people snore and dribble away. Of course, being a customer, you would expect the staff to grant you a seat by right, by shooing away pesky freeloaders, but they don’t, they will not help you at all.
Holding a food tray in my hand, I had once approached a non-customer who was sleeping and had tried asking him to move, but playing the ‘pretending to not hear you because I’m asleep’ game, I lost my patience and kicked his chair, to which he said, “so rude! I’m sleeping!” So, don’t be surprised when you stand with a food tray in your hand, looking like a fu*king idiot as you shovel slop down your throat, drying your tears with your fat greasy fingers, weeping because there ‘ain’t’ nothing you can do!
Food. What about the food? If you’re ordering from the basic menu, expect the quality to be low, oily and generally awful, especially the rice (oh god the rice is bad), however, order from the premium menu and you’ll find yourself sitting happy as the staff wait on you with food that is sufficiently better. Like America, portion sizes are extreme, but at the other end of the scale, meaning burgers are the size of fists (H
Delivery. Have you ever wondered why McDonald’s don’t deliver to your door? Well, actually they do, in China simply download the app and have whatever and whichever ordered straight to your door, just expect it to be somewhat similar in shape and consistency to that of an extremely obese, mobility-scooter-owners-arse, in other words… a pancake with tissue stuck to it.
McDonald’s in Japan.
“ like gobbling a gay Treebeard or… chewing on Jigglypuff “
I know, I know, “Eat McDonald’s in Japan?”, but you have to try it, Japanese McDonald’s is like Dr Dre Beats, “hear the music as the artist intended”, but instead, “taste the food as Ronald intended”.
Establishment. Being in a Japanese McDonald’s is like being in one of their T.V advertisements, everyone really is having a good time, but just typically Japanese, quietly and respectfully; people are having lunch meetings (quietly), families congregate (quietly), teens sit on phones and chat (quietly) and elderly people sit alone drinking coffee (that’s universal). Staff greet you all at once despite being in the midst of flipping a burger or three and always wait patiently for you to pretend you can read Japanese before you decide, “fu*k it, that black burger thing“.
Food. The first time I tried McDonald’s in Japan I was surprised, not mouth-wide-open surprised because that would be weird, but surprised… inside. Everything tastes fresh ‘n’ hot, not like in Britain where everything’s a bit sloppy, warm and moist, like a teens tissue behind a radiator. The food is cooked fresh and actually looks like the pictures, and the menu consists of novelty items such as chocolate chips/fries, black-squid-ink burgers and a matcha tea and azuki beans McFlurry. The only downside that I can expose is the standard desserts; they’re either boring and age-old in origin like the classic Oreo flavour, or ‘Sakura flower’ flavoured ice-cream, which is exactly like gobbling a gay Treebeard or… chewing on Jigglypuff.
Verdict. This isn’t about McDonald’s as an establishment, because I’m certainly not paid for that, rather, this is about the differences between McDonald’s in Japan and in China. I understand that if you’re going to Japan or China for a short visit you’d rather try the local cuisine and that’s fine, that’s understandable, but if you’re thinking of living in Asia for the foreseeable future, then don’t be ashamed of yourself for wanting a burger, no one will judge you when you’re sat stuffing your face with a patty and gherkins… rice can’t always make you happy, but a ‘Happy Meal’ can.
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